Author : MAMAN MAAMA Category : KDP NOVELS
felt so good to talk
to someone, to tell someone abinda yake raina especially someone da nasan ba zata tona asirin mijina
ba itama nata asirin ne.
Ta dauki Yasmin ta dora akan cinyarta sannan tayi min irin tambayar da nayi wa kaina jiya "yanzu
menene abinyi? Yanzu me zaki yi?"
Na sunkuyar da kaina ina kallon fuskar Asad ta take sak irin ta babansa, na tuno shawarar da na yanke
jiya da daddare wadda na yanke ta ne bayan na lissafa maganganun da muka taba yi da Aunty Afia inda
ta gaya min itama da ta kasance a cikin irin halin da nake ciki yanzu amma hakuri, juriya, jajircewa gurin
kyautatawa da kuma biya wa mijinta dukkan bukatunsa sannan kuma da kara himma gurin addu'a shine
yayi mata maganin matsalar ta, yanzu gashi nan ya wuce kamar ba'a yi ba, dan Aunty Afia tana daga
cikin matan da nasan suna jin dadin auren su.
Na daga kai na kalli yaya Jamila nace "hakuri zanyi yaya Jamila, dan wannan shine kaddara ta, zanyi
iyakacin kokari na gurin ganin na gyara shi ta hanyar nuna masa soyayya da kulawa da kuma yin dukkan
kokari na na ganin na sauke dukkan nauyin sa da yake kaina sannan kuma zan dage dayi masa addu'ar
nema masa shiriya a gurin Allah. It is going to be a tough challenge amma zanyi iyakacin kokari na ko ba
dan son da nake masa ba da kuma shi son da yake yi min ba, ko dan wadannan yaran da Allah ya sako a
tsakanin mu"
Na karasa ina kallon yaran da suma duk ni suke kallo kamar suna jin abinda nake cewa.
*wannan littafin na amana ne idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki yi sharing, in kika
yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*
*The First Step*
Bai zo daukan mu bayan magrib din ba kamar yadda yace, amma ya kira ni ya gaya min yaje gidan su ne
Mama tana nemansa sai bayan magrib zai zo ya dauke mu.
Muna idar da Sallah kuwa sai gashi ya zo, amma sai gwoggo tace ya tsaya yaci abinci tukunna, ta saka
aka bude masa dakin baki aka kai masa abinci muma muka ci a cikin gida har da zuba mana mu tafi dashi
gida ko zamu sake ci kafin mu kwanta.
Ina fita ya karbi Yasmin da take kafada ta already tayi bacci sannan ya karbi flask din da yake hannuna,
ya kwantar da ita a bayan mota ya ajiye flask din shima sannan ya bude min kofar gaba na shiga muka
tafi.
Shiru a hanya babu wanda yayi magana a cikin mu, yana ta driving dinsa da hannu daya dayan kuma ya
dafe kansa da shi kamar wanda kan yake yi masa ciwo, ni kuma na jingina kaina a jikin kujera na
rungume Asad da hannaye na biyu ido na a rufe.
Zuwa can ya dan sauke glass din motar yace "yau garin akwai iska mai dadi, kina son fresh air?" Ban ce
komai ba sai kuma ya sake daga glass din yace "kar Asad yayi mura kuma" still nayi shiru. Sai da muka
shiga layin mu sannan yace "ina son muyi magana Jidda. Zaki saurare ni?" Na juyar da kaina ina kallon sa
ta hasken street light, hasken fatarsa yana reflecting hasken da ya ke shigowa motar sai na sake rufe ido
na sannan nace "zsan saurare ka mana, do I have another option?"
Yace "of cause kina da options da yawa Jidda, I will never force you to do anything that you don't want
to do" na sake bude ido na akansa, ido na ya sauka akan band dina da yake hannunsa nace "idan nace
bana son jin komai daga gare ka me zaka yi?" Ya daga kafada, "zan hakura, sai kuma in cigaba da
tambayarki har sai ranar da kika yarda da kanki kika tsaya kika saurare ni"
Sai miko hannunsa ya dora akan nawa da yake rike da Asad, na zare hannun nawa tare da juya kaina ina
kallon taga, naji hawaye ya taru a ido na nace "in na saurare ka ma mai zaka ce min Doctor Umar?
Wanne bayani zaka yi min wanda already ban riga na sani ba? In na saurare ka you will only succeed in
confusing me and giving me false hope, karya kawai zaka yi min, wanda abinda vaka sani ba shine yafi
komai kona min rai a cikin rayuwar aure na da kai, karya"
Ya kuma bin hannun nawa ya kamo ya rike sannan ya jashi zuwa bakin sa yayi kissing knuckles dina,
"shine abinda nake so in gaya miki. Bayanin da nake so inyi miki kenan idan kin bani dama Jidda. Eh
nasan I have been lying to you about some certain things, amma ina so ki fahimci duk abinda nayi miki
karya akai abu ne da ni nake ganin gaskiyar will hurt you. And hurting you shine abu na karshe da nake
so inyi a rayuwata"
Na sake karbe hannuna ina goge inda yayi kissing din a jikin rigata "but hurting me is all you have been
doing.
Ciwon da kake bawa zuciyata Umar ban taba jin irinsa ba a rayuwata" na karasa hawayen da nake rikewa
suna gangarowa daga idona.
Ya dauke kansa ya cigaba da driving har muka karasa gida yayi packing sannan ya juyo yana kallona "will
you like to get the fresh air" na goge hawayen da yake fuska ta bance komai ba sai ya fito ya zagayo
dauke Asad daga kan cinyata ya mayar da shi baya sannan ya dawo kama hannuna "come" na fito na
tsaya ina kallon sa sai ya zagaya dani bayan motar sai ya saki hannu na ya zauna a saman booth din
motar sannan ya nuna min kusa ban san me zance miki ba Jidda, I have been trying so form the words or
the sentences amma na kasa, bana jin akwai wata kalma da zan fada miki da zata goge dacinda kike ji a
zuciyarki, amma zan gwada, zance Allah ya baki hakuri Jidda. Kiyi hakuri Jidda dan Allah"
Ya fada yana rintse hannuna daya a cikin hannayensa biyu sannan ya saka su akan kirjinsa. "Nayi miki
karya akan Jamila, but I was madly in love with you, ta yaya kike tunanin zance na fasa aurenki bayan
kwana biyu ya rage daurin auren mu saboda wani mistake da nayi a baya?"
Nace "mistake ko intentional?" Yayi shiru yana kallona sai na sake maimaita wa "was it a mistake ko
kuma was it intentional" sai ya saki hannu na ya kama fuska ta "what does it matter? In mistake in
intentional menene banbanci?"
Nace "akwai banbanci sosai a tsakani Umar, in mistake ne, then it has already been regretted and it will
never happen again. In kuma intentional ne then baka yi regretting ba and it may happen again nan gaba
tunda baka yarda cewa abinda kayi ba dai dai bane ba"
Yayi shiru bai ce komai ba sai na cigaba "the first step na chanja hali shine mutum ya yarda cewa abinda
yake aikatawa ba dai da bane ba, idan har ba ka yarda cewa ba dai dai bane ba then ba zaka daina ba
tunda ba zaka saka a ranka cewa kana so ka daina ba"
Yace "yes, na yarda, na yarda cewasanda na aikata duk wadancan kurakuran a kuskure bane ba ganganci
ne amma yanzu na fahimta Jidda, nayi regretting fiye da tunanin ki Jidda kuma nayi wa kaina alkawari
sannan ke ma yanzu ina miki alkawari cewa ba zan sake ba"
"Nayi wannan alkawarin ne tun a ranar haihuwar Asad, ranar da na dauka na rasa ki Jidda, ranar da na
dauka cewa bakin cikin abinda nake aikatawa ya jawo min asarar ki a ranar nayi wa kaina alkawarin na
daina, kuma yanzu kema ina miki alkawarin na daina. Fata na kawai shine zaki ce kin yafe min Jidda dan
Allah"
Sai ya sauko daga saman motar ya tsaya a gaba na still hannayensa rike da nawa. Fuskarsa abin tausayi
kamar marayan da ya rasa iyayensa duk biyun. Sai na girgiza masa kai nace "ai ba ni kayi wa laifi ba
Umar, ni babu abinda kayi min ballantana in yafe maka or not, abinda kayi tsakanin ka da Allah ne ba da
ni ba tunda ni duk ka sauke nauyi na da yake kanka. Wannan kuma nauyine ka daukar wa kanka a gurin
ubangiji kuma shi zaka nema gafara kuma kayi masa alkawarin ba zaka sake yi ba bani ba"
Yace "na sani, kuma na nemi gafarar sa already, kuma zan cigaba da neman gafarar sa. Amma kema nayi
miki laifi sosai tunda na saka bakin ciki da takaici mara misaltuwa a zuciyarki. Wallahi Jidda da zan iya
chanja zuciyata da taki da nayi, dan in dauke miki ciwon da kike ji a cikin taki zuciyar, dan kema kuma ki
fahimci irin tarin damuwa da kuma nadamar da suke a cikin tawa zuciyar Jidda da nayi hakan. Amma ba
zan iya ba, ba kuma zan iya dawo da agogo baya ya zamanto cewa banyi abinda nayi din ba"
"Ki bude zuciyarki dan Allah ki sake bani wata damar dan Allah, nasan nayi messing up waccan da kika
bani amma wannan ita ce ta karshe dazan nema a gurin ki insha Allah. Nayi miki wannan alkawarin"
Tunda ya fara magana idona yake cikin nasa, ina hango tarin damuwa da kuma tarin soyayya ta da yake
cikin idon nasa, and of course iskar gurin tana da dadi and I love him so much. Sai na gyada kai na. Yes, I
am going to give him a third chance.
Sai yayi murmushi sannan yayi dariya, sai kuma ya jawo ni ya sauko dani kasa sannan ya rungume ni
tsam tsam a jikinsa
"Oh God, I love you so much baby"
Washegari na fara gabatar da plans dina na ganin na gyara miji na. Abu na farko dana fara kokarin yi
shine kokarin gyaran ibadar sa, a ganina in ya gyara wannan to tabbas sauran al'amuran sa zasu gyaru.
Na kara kaimi gurin tunatar dashi akan sallah, duk da dai dama ina kokarin yin hakan.
Sallar asuba kullum ina kokarin ganin yayi ta a jam'i, yana dawowa gida kuma ba abinci nake fara gabatar
masa ba musanman in lokacin sallah ya gabato zan fara cewa yayi alwala yaje masjid kar jam'i ya wuce
shi. Duk sanda yayi sallah a gida kuwa sai na tsokane shi, "ka rasa ladan jam'i, yau ladana yafi naka a
sallah tunda ni dama macece a gida muke sallar mu"
Farko ya fara bi duk yadda nayi dashi, daga baya sai ya fara ignoring dina ko yayi mim dariya "Ya shehiya
Malama Maijidda Umar Faruq. Muna godiya da wannan tunatarwa, Allah ya bada lada"
Amma mockry dinsa bai sa na daina ba duk da shi din ba ko da yaushe yake ji ba.
Ganin baya jin tawa maganar sai na chanja shawara "dan Allah dear ina neman wata alfarma a gurin ka"
ya ajiye wayar sa da yake dannawa tare da banj full attention dinsa yace "alfarma? Wacce irin alfarma?"
Nace "ina so ka samo mana malamin islamiyya yake zuwa gida yana koyar da mu" ya bata fuska sannan
yayi dariya "you must be joking right? Kina tunanin zan bar wani kato mai dogon gemu yake shigowa
gidan nan da sunan dora miki karatu"
Nayi dariyar kishinsa, "ai ba ni kadai zan ke daukan karatun ba har da kai, tare zamu ke yi" sai ya sake
dariya "ni wai? Haba ustaziyya malama Jidda. Kina ganin ina da wannan lokacin, upon all my tight
schedules?" Na bata rai sai ya jawo ni jikinsa "karatu ba tun muna yara mukayi shi muka gama ba? Nayi
sauka tun ina secondary school, nayi kuma karatun duk necessary littattafai, sai menene kuma ya rage?
Yanzu su Yasmin ne zamu dage su samu nasu tun da mu mun riga mun samu ko Baby?"
Na sake bata rai "ai karatu ba wai dan mutum yasan abinda bai sani bane ba, kamar tunatarwa ne na
abinda already mutum ya sani, tunatarwa kuma Annabi yace tana amfanar mumini"
Yayi ajjiyar zuciya "okay, tunda kin dage kina so zan bincika a unguwar nan sai in samo miki islamiyya ta
matan aure wadda mata suke koyarwa a ciki sai ki ke zuwa, in kin dawo kuma da daddare sai ki koya min
abinda kika koyo acan. Haka yayi miki?"
Ba haka naso ba amma babu yadda zanyi sai na bar shi a haka. Sai na koma tura masa wa'azi ta
WhatsApp, duk wani video ko audio ko written wa'azi da na gani musamman in yana da dangantaka da
zina sai in tura masa. Da farko ina samun "jzkl" "thank" wani lokacin kuma thumbs up, daga baya ma sai
ya daina kula ni amma ban daina turawa ba duk da a jikina nasan baya budewa.
Rayuwa ta cigaba a tsakanin mu, mun koma kamar wani abu bai faru ba a zahiri, amma a badini, zuciyata
bata taba samun kwanciyar hankali ba. Kullum Umar ya jima a waje sai na tambayi kaina inda yake ko
kuma abinda yake yi a inda yake din, in waya akayi masa kunne na yana kai inji me yake cewa, duk kuma
sanda naji something unusual sai naji hankali na bai kwanta da hakan ba.
A ɓangare daya kuma na sake kara kaimi gurin yiwa Umar addu'a a dukkan sallolina, duk sanda na jima a
sujjada to ba kaina ko iyayena ko yayana nake yiwa addu'a ba Umar nake yiwa addu'a. Kuma addu'a ta
Allah ya bawa Umar ikon cika alkawarin da yayi wa Ubangiji na cewa ya daina kusantar zina.
Na sake kuma cigaba da gyaran kaina, wannan karon ba wai ciki kadai nake gyarawa ba har da wajen dan
a ganina kyawun wajen da zai gani a gurin matan shi zai rinjaye shi har ya shigar da shi cikin. Ko da
yaushe ina hanyar saloon, takanas na saka Mufida ta nemo min saloon mai kyau irin na yan gayu, ni ce
wankin kafa ni ce gyaran gashi ni ce kitso, duk rashin so na da kitso sai gashi ina yi har da kitson attach
haka nake yi inyi ta kamale wuya ina fama da ciwon kai amma ba zan kunce ba saboda Umar yana so har
sai ya kwana biyu na tabbatar ya gama gani sannan zan kunce.
Kunshi kuwa in baka jan lalle a hannu na ba to zaka ga baki, da wahala kaga hannuna da kafafuwa na
babu kunshi duk kuma dan kar umar ya gani a wani wajen yayi sha'awa.
Ni ce yawo a social media, duk wani group dinda ake bada bedroom tips ina ciki, bana magana sosai
amma duk abinda aka fada ina rikewa, har screenshot din wasu abubuwan nake yi in ajiye kuma in koya
sannan in gwada wa Umar. Babu abinda bana yi wa Umar a bedroom sai abinda yake haram kadai.
Tsafta kuwa dama ina da ita, dan har mocking dina su Mufida suke yi suke aljanun tsafta ne da ni, shi
kansa ya san haka.
Sannan kuma wani abu da nake so in sake emphasizing akai shine Umar bai taba nuna min da jikinsa,
bakinsa, ko kuma da aikinsa cewa ina da wata makusa a gurin sa ba, Umar ko daga min murya baya yi da
wahala ya bata min rai duk sanda zai min magana da murmushi ta tarairaya yake yi min.
Wannan yasa na kara sakin jikina tare da saka ran cewa the bad days a over, amma kuma ban daina duk
abinda nake yi ba, ban daina kokarin dora shi akan kyakykyawar hanya da kuma tunatar dashi akan
dukkan ayyukan ibada ba, sannan kuma ban daina iyakacin kokari na na faranta masa rai ba. A ciki da
kuma a wajen bedroom.
A haka har Asad ya warware yayi wayo sosai kamar ba bakwaini ba, har ya fara rarrafensa, ni kuma a
lokacin ne na fara shirin fara zuwa aiki. Kafin in fara ne kuma sai aka tura Umar Zaria za su yi wani
workshop na kwana uku, Friday Saturday and Sunday.
Ranar da yazo da takardar gida ya zauna yana ta mita. "Dan wulakanci a rasa inda za'a tura ni sai Zaria?
Zaria fa? Wadansu sunje Abuja wadansu Lagos wadansu porthercourt wadansu ma kasar suka bari
gabaki daya amma ni shine zasu tura ni Zaria dan sun raina min wayo"
Na rufe baki ina dariya, ya harare ni "au wato dariya ma na baki ko? Dariya ma kike yi min ko?" Na
girgiza kaina ina kunshe dariyar "sorry dear, ba dariya nake yi ba fuska ta ce a haka"
Ya jefe ni da pillow na rike ina sakin dariyar da nake rike wa, yayi tsaki yana gyara zamansa akan kujera,
sai na taso na dawo kan cinyarsa na zauna nace "to menene da zariyan, uhm? Ji nake aikin ka kawai zaka
je kayi ka dawo? Kai da ba yawon shakatawa zaka je ba?"
Ya shafa fuskata "tunda aka fara wannan program din nake shirin tafiya da ku Abuja, mu je mu dan
shana haka. Kin ga nan yanzu ko dan fita ma ba ma samu muyi saboda aiki yayi min yawa." na rike
hannunsa "to ba sai mu bika zariyan ba? Ai nasan zasu baku accomodation ba sai mu zauna ba, ko ba
komai ai mun samu chanjin muhalli kuma ai shanawar a tare da mu take ba'a gurin da zamu je ba" na
kashe masa ido amma sai ya bata rai.
"Akwai sauro wallahi. Kar muje Asad ya dauki malaria or worst. Dole ni kadai zanje" na fara bubbuga
kafa ina masa shagwaba "dan Allah dear ka tafi da mu. Ni sai in bar Asad dinmaa gurin Umma, ai zai iya
shan madara kafin mu dawo, ni bana so ka tafi ka barni"
Sai ya fara rarrashi na "yaron nan kin san lafiya bata ishe shi sosai ba, ba zamu ji dadin tafiyar ba ma in
muka tafi muka barshi. Kwana uku ne kadai zanyi in dawo" na kirkiri hawaye sai ya fara goge min "kin ga,
karshen shekarar nan zan dauki annual leave sai mu tafi Abuja mu shana acan, transcorp kike so ko ina?"
Na sake matse kwalla "ni kai nake so......" Ya kwaikwaye ni "nima ke nake so ........."
A haka dai dole na hakura, Thursday da sassafe ya tafi. Yace sunday da yamma zai dawo.....
Kuma Sunday din ya dawo da daddare can bayan sallar isha. Na tare shi da murna da kwalliya da abinci.
Ya kuma karbe ni shima da murna da ɗoki, hannayensa cike da ledojin tsarabar da yayo mana ni da yara.
Muka ci abinci tare da yara a kan carpet a cikin plate daya, Yasmin akan cinyarsa yana ci yana bata tana
masa surutu ni kuma ina musu dariya tare da bashi labarin abubuwan da yayi missing na daga sabbin
abubuwan iyayi da Yasmin take fitowa da su kullum, just like a happy family. Sai da muka gama komai
sannan muka kwantar da yaran mu tare kamar yadda muke yi kullum, sannan na hada masa ruwan
wanka kamar yadda nake yi kullum, half expecting ya jani mu shiga wankan tare amma sai naga
